Somalia Thoughts
by Searching4sanity
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or I would watching tonight's nonexistent episode, or I Love Lucy which is mentioned. Rated K  plus it's probably T, ? It's Tony's thoughts after they rescue Ziva from Somalia. Tiva! Possible Mcabby if you squint really hard


Hi! This a quick one shot on what the team, mainly Tony, was thinking when they rescued Ziva. Tiva on a major scale!

Seriously, if anyone has seen my sanity, I'd appreciate a PM!

Ziva David. The name meant the world to him.

But here in Somalia, Ziva David meant destroyed, broken, and hopeless. Willing to die in this filthy hole at the hands of a monster addicted to caffeine.

His Ziva, the one who accompanied him to LA, who lost their close friend with him, who mixes up their language, who intimidates him while urging him to finally kiss her, who drives like a madman, and smiles like an angel, wasn't here.

She was gone, and deep down, Tony Dinozzo knew that bringing her home would take months, years, a lifetime.

He knew that the women he loved, who helped him through Jeanne, who felt a pain when Kate died, who kicked ass but was sweet and gentle, was floating off in space somewhere and right here was the women who walked into the bull pen for the first time, and sat at Kate's desk. Hard, steely, loyal to Israel, her father, and Ari. Who had no tolerance for compassion or emotions. Who was terrified of showing weakness thanks to her training and her father. The women who was scared of people even though she was one of the most dangerous ones on the planet.

It hadn't been love at first sight, even though he would have liked to think it was. He didn't love or even care for Ziva when he first met her. He hated her. Kate was killed by her half brother and she had done nothing about it. Kate was the little sister his parents forgot to have, like McGee was another son they never wanted. Tony had grown to like Ziva as a person over the first year of working with her, he respected her abilities, and knew deep down, way down, she was a good person. But he didn't love her even then. That goodness inside her bloomed as she worked for NCIS. She started thinking like an investigator rather than a killer. She cared for people, and felt the pain of love.

He didn't start really, truly loving her until that summer when Gibbs left and all they had left was each other. McGee was off with Abby for most of the time and they wanted company, someone who understood the agony of losing him. Slowly that need of a friend, developed into something more.

Her bruises and blood made his heart scream in agony, but was nothing compared to the orchestra that sang when he spotted her. Alive.

Hearing she was dead was like watching Kate being shot. His brain had died and that Dinozzo light, the one that threw out the grins, the jokes, the movie references, went out. He couldn't make them knowing that she wouldn't hear them again. In Israel she could, in death she couldn't. All the things he had never told her had flashed through his mind. How grateful he was for her. How much he cared. How he didn't mind her mistakes, or her background. How she looked beautiful everywhere she went. How he meant to show her the Lord of the Rings movies, how he wanted to take her to Italy, he was sure she had been before, but he would take her to the places no one went. The ranches, the little shops no one gave a second glance at that were really what Italy was made of, and the beach. How he loved her.

And then he heard her say she didn't want to live and he knew he hadn't found his ninja. He knew a little part of her had died when Vance told her to go back. Back to the place she had run from. Back to her father and Michael. His ninja was hiding, and Saleem had been the reason for it. Tony spotted how she seemed to cringe every time Saleem looked at her, then forced herself to stop and regain her usual confidence.

But what really scared him was when she said she was ready to die. His ninja assassin didn't want to die. She took every possible measure to live and make sure the ones she loved lived too. He didn't doubt she would happily take a bullet for any of them, but she was stubborn, determined to make it out of every situation alive, no matter how bad. And yet here she was, saying she was ready. And it was all because of Saleem.

Tony didn't like killing people, even if they were bad. But when Ziva said that, he wanted Saleem dead. Like Ari. He was glad they were gone.

And here he was carrying Ziva, the women who refused to accept help on anything, with McGee who had shown his true colors in rescuing Ziva, out of the prison. She was light, too light. He looked at her stomach and nearly threw up. Ziva was never overweight, far from it, the results of long, never ending runs every morning, but this was disgusting. What little body fat she had possessed was gone, her stomach had collapsed in on its self, and her muscles, the hard packed weapons that passed through any security gate, were gone as well, used for food by her body. It was truly sick. She was limp, and he could hear her harsh, ragged breathing in his ear as they carried her up the dirty steps.

" Ready to see the sun, Zee-vah?" he elongated her name in hopes of getting a smile, but instead she winced and nodded slowly. He narrowed his eyes. If anyone needed a hospital at the moment, she did.

" Tony, McGee!" Gibbs came sprinting down the road, all the security dead or gone. His cameo outfit fitted him perfectly after all these years. His sniper rifle jumped up and down on his shoulder. He stopped mid-stride, his blue eyes widening as he took in the scene.

" Ziva?" he yelled, now running faster as he realized his foster daughter wasn't dead.

" She's gonna be okay Boss!" Tony yelled, more for his and Ziva's benefit than the Marine's. " Just a couple scrapes and bruises!" he grinned at his partner as they stepped into the sun.

This was the first time Ziva had felt it on her face in months. It felt hot, but lovely. No darkness here, dry but warm. She opened her eyes, trying to spot Gibbs, but the blinding pain that ripped through her warm brown eyes also tore a scream from her throat.

Tony was jerked forward as Ziva doubled over and threw up. Actually all she did was spit up about a gallon of blood on the dirt, but it was still gross, and it still shattered Tony's heart.

" Ziva!" all three NCIS agents cried in horror as she gasped for breath, her eyes squeezed shut, her tiny weak frame trembling horribly. Gibbs took McGee's place holding Ziva's shoulder while she coughed, who ran for one of the bins of water in the distance.

Even after she finished gagging, her body shook like there was an earthquake, and her breathing was wrong. She tried weakly to block her eyes from the sun by shutting them, but Tony could still see something was bothering his favorite ex-Mossad officer.

" Boss, something's wrong and not just the obvious." Tony declared worriedly. Gibbs nodded, his blue eyes searching for the problem.

" Where-? What...?" Ziva was still shaking uncontrollably, but she was able to look up and squint at Tony and then the Bossman.

" What? Gibbs? Where...?" her voice was terrified and Tony could feel her tensing under their grip, expecting to be hurt.

" Bossman couldn't wait to work on his tan and came out to make sure McGee didn't screw up while I had my back turned." Tony joked, but the humor seemed to die on Ziva. Gibbs eyed him, not angrily or the normal Gibbs stare just wondering what he was doing.

" Where-? Where is Saleem?" she murmured, and Tony felt both his and Gibbs' anger returned at that monster's name.

" He's gone Ziva, another Caf-Pow addict dead." He hadn't meant to say the last word, but it slipped out in his relief at seeing Ziva still breathing.

Her face turned even more pale, if that was possible, and she gasped for air like a fish out of water. Gibbs gave him the Gibbs stare times ten, and slowly rubbed Ziva's shoulder in a fatherly way as she calmed down.

" No. He was there." she argued, the old Ziva David light returning to her eyes as she argued with Tony for the wrong reason. " I saw him, and he kept coming back. He wouldn't leave me alone... He kept coming back..." Tears started forming in Ziva's lovely eyes. Tears. When did Ziva David cry?

" Shhh..." Tony took over with the comforting, rubbing her back gently as the shivering returned. " It's fine Ziva. We'll go back to DC once McSlowpoke hurries up with the water. We'll go home and Abby will freak out and Ducky will say 'This reminds me of a time when...' and I'll make a movie reference, probably something to do with a 1960's thriller romance, Gibbs will drink coffee, and McGee can make a geeky comment. We'll all be safe." he promised, trying to ignore Gibbs stare, now calmer and less aggressive than before, he just watched, waiting. As he talked Ziva seemed to settle down, her breathing went from a fast, uncontrolled pant, to slow, even breaths. She stopped trembling and let Gibbs and him prop her up against a shack, in the shade so the sun wouldn't bother her as much.

" Why didn't he leave me alone?" she finally whispered, the tears burning away the grime that coated her face. " Why couldn't he just leave?"

Tony waited a moment for the Boss to answer, but when he didn't, Dinozzo took a deep breath and sighed.

" I don't know Ziva. He probably couldn't handle being called Salami Pants in school as a kid and took that anger out on you.I honestly have no idea." Tony replied truthfully.

Ziva David turned her eyes to his green ones and he could've sworn he saw the briefest flash of a smile cross them.

Tony gave her the Dinozzo grin and Gibbs smiled briefly at the look of understanding pass between two of his agents. He knew they were probably breaking Rule 12 but didn't care at the moment, call it the sun melting his brain.

" Hey! Got some water!" McGee announced, jogging over with a canteen. Gibbs grabbed it and much to Ziva's protest, helped her drink it in small sips. Once she refused to drink anymore, saying the others must be thirsty too, but Tony knew she wasn't feeling well, they all had some.

To McGee sharing that canteen of water with his team, safe and alive, felt like all the dinners they had eaten, at separate desks, but together as a dysfunctional family.

His family.

To Gibbs, that canteen of water felt like eating the ice cream he shared with his daughter after the time Kelly had gotten lost at the mall when she was six. It meant that she was safe, he was safe, they were safe.

His family.

To Ziva sharing that canteen of water was like coming home. Memories of laughing with Tony and McGee, of jokes with Abby, of feeling like a daughter again with Gibbs, of being loved swam through her eyes as she took those sips of ambrosia.

Her family.

To Tony, sharing that canteen of water with his team, the team he fought for, with, and against was like being back in the bull pen. Not doing anything but writing a report or staring into space, content with the thought they were all alive and safe.

His family.

Years Later...

They had gotten into another fight. About what neither of them remembered. They just remembered high tempers, cursing, mean words, Hebrew, and a movie reference.

Tony collapsed on the couch, exhausted by the fight with his wife of five years. They had always fought, but after they got married the disputes were worse. They fought like Gibbs. Then again, he doubted he had ever been so happy in his life knowing that Ziva was his, and not Michael's or Saleem's or Ari's, his. That she was safe and happy. And it was gonna stay that way. But right then Ziva was her own self and locked inside the bedroom. Their three children, Tali, Kate, and Jethro, were all asleep. Their fight hadn't been loud, quiet feuds was something they had perfected over the years of being under Gibbs' rule.

Two hours later after he watched one too many reruns of I Love Lucy, he didn't notice Ziva swiftly settle down on the other side of the couch.

He didn't like her sitting over there, so he got up and sat down next to her, letting her rest her soft head (Cough, he meant hard, tough as nails, impenetrable stronghold of intellect) against his neck.

In her hands was a canteen, it was worn and old. She took a sip, and offered him some. He let the liquid pour down his throat. Water. Just plain water.

Sharing that canteen with each other was like sharing that same canteen of water years ago when Tony rescued her unplanned from Somalia. He wondered if she was remembering that faithful day as well.

" I love you Ziva."

" I love you too... Salami Pants."

Like it? Love it? Hate it? Don't care, just please, please, please review!

I'm considering turning this into a multi chap based on the lives of the Dinozzo's, all five of them. I know it's an overused plot, but hey, I have a right to my stories. I'm just wondering if anyone would be willing to read it. Just an FYI it will be a combo of family moments, drama, and danger. It'll be like Special Agent J Callen but in DC, and for all of you are reading any of my other stories, I'm sorry and I'm not on hiatus! Just busyus!

Review!

The hunt for my sanity continues…


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